Cherished Footprints: Loss of a Child

Cherished Footprints

Most of us are familiar with the famous poem from Mary Stevenson titled, “Footprints In The Sand.”  The poem discusses a Christian who had a dream of walking on a beach with the Lord Jesus Christ.  The Christian noticed two sets of footprints representing the entirety of their life.  One set was the individual’s and the other was that of our Lord Jesus Christ.  It was in the low times of the persons life where they noticed there was only one set of footprints walking in the sand.  Much to the surprise of the dreamer, this brought into recollection the Scripture where the Lord had promised:

“I will never leave you nor forsake you.” ~Joshua 1:5.  

The Christian surmised that this could not be the case as the second set of footprints had disappeared during the difficult times.  The writer then states that the Lord’s reply to the Christian was,  “The times when you have seen only one set of footprints, is when I carried you.”

Of course these words from the Lord are not from Holy Writ and are fictitious, however the poem does bring an accurate depiction of how the Lord carries us when we need to be carried.  God’s Words are true and the writer of Hebrews also recounts Joshua 1:5 in Chapter 13:5c . As believers, we (Christians) are called to rely on Him at all times.  When times are good and when times are…..not so good.

The picture above depicts actual footprints of one our 6 children (actual identity unknown as I do not have a household forensics kit to conduct such an investigation). Dirty little footprints that trample into our house even after I have asked, screamed, yelled, and demanded for them to wear their shoes outside and then remove them when they venture back inside. It is common for me to easily get incensed and become infuriated when I see such.  My immediate response is usually to take my splenetic self and search for the culprit of the dirty path.

Not so much anymore.  I cherish those footprints!

In 2015, after the loss of our baby boy, Everett, these footprints have turned my thought process from anger into joy.

Oh how I cherish those footprints!

We lost Everett due to a nuchal cord entanglement in utero at 20 weeks. An uncommon event when you examine the statistics from the obstetrics world. There was nothing we could do.  There was nothing my wife did or could have done to prevent the event.  We understand that it was not a ‘fluke’ or ‘bad luck.’ We understand that our Lord is Sovereign.  He is sovereign over ALL things. 

“Our God is in the heavens; He does all that He pleases.” ~Psalm 115:3

It isn’t always easy to deal with what has been sovereignly decreed.  We asked the question, “Why? Why Lord?”  The answer is also in the text of Scripture:

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.” ~Isaiah 55:8

This still didn’t and doesn’t make it easy.  We also understand that the Lord is working all things for the greater good.

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.” ~Romans 8:28

Oh how I cherish those footprints!

Bereavement is Normal

In contrast to what the “Health, Wealth, & Prosperity” ‘preachers’ (and I use that term very loosely) tell you, God never told us that things will always be peachy. He said that things will ‘work together for good’.  That doesn’t necessarily equate to a joyful everyday life, marriage, or job as we would perceive it. God never promised us a life of ease.  In fact, the writer of Hebrews via the Holy Spirit tells us quite the opposite.

“It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons.  For what son is there whom his father does not discipline?” ~Hebrews 12:7

Oh how I cherish those footprints!

Trials are placed upon us as a test.  What kind of test you ask? A test of faith.  The ultimate test?  Abraham taking Isaac on top of that mountain.  In anguish with gut wrenching pain thinking of how it could possibly be the will of the Lord to kill his own son? Abraham was tested and his healthy ‘fear’ of the Lord was shown.  The Lord provided a scape goat (ram) and Isaac was spared. (Genesis 22:12-13).

Is it easy to lose a child? Even one you’ve never held alive?  That was my scenario.  My wife held Everett.  For 19+ weeks she held him.  She felt him kick her.  She felt him squiggle.  We both talked to him and told him we loved him on a daily basis.  I kissed my wife’s beautiful belly and would say as I have said to all of my children while they were in the womb, “This is your Daddy speaking. I cannot wait to kiss your face!”

Oh how I cherish those footprints!

The following were helpful words from Pastor John MacArthur as he wrote in his book, “Safe in the Arms of God.”

 “Sorrowful experiences give us a means of taking spiritual inventory of our own lives. Do we wallow in resentment, bitterness, or self-pity when trouble comes? Or do we turn more and more to the Lord and rely on Him with increasing dependence and humility? The answer tells us something about where we are in our faith, and where we need to grow. In His omniscience, God knows our hearts. What He desires is that we also know our own hearts! In knowing our own hearts, we then bear responsibility for repenting in areas where we need to repent, in trusting God for His grace in ways we may not have trusted God previously, and in turning to God with a humble, dependent spirit instead of pride and independence.”

Hope in Christ

After my wife delivered our precious boy, who already was gloriously transferred into the presence of the Almighty God, we were then able to hold him and tell him again how much we love him. This remains the most difficult trial that I had to deal with in my life. I know many of you reading this have specific stories of such magnitude that were also the most difficult time in your life. My hope is that you know the love of Christ.   That you have placed your faith and trust in Him.  Know that He is working all things out for His greater good which in turn is our greater good.  When He saves us He saves wholly, fully, and to the utmost.  He is mighty to save.

Oh how I cherish those footprints!

He is Holy and perfect.  I am unholy and a wretch.  Only have I been made Holy by the blood of the Lamb who was slain for those who believe that He is the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords. Every sin that I have ever committed in the past and will commit in the future has been paid for and placed away in the deepest darkest portions of the earth, its seas, and beyond. 

So the footprints of the Lord’s I do so cherish.  They could be on the sandy beaches of any coastline in the world where He has picked me up and carried me when I so needed it.  They could be in the heavenly realm for He is Omnipresent. The footprints that trekked the Via Dolorosa (the path Christ traveled to Calvary) are mine to cherish.  The picture of those beautiful, dirty, muddy, sandy footprints of one of my children at the top of this article are mine to cherish because the Lord Jesus has granted my wife and I five beautiful girls and a handsome little man to bring up in the way they should go. (Ref. Proverbs 22:6)

The Lord also gave us Everett.  He took Him sooner, much sooner, than anyone would have ever dreamed. But we understand that our children are given to us by the Sovereign Lord. As Job said, “The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” (Job 1:21). There will be bereavement. 

Not only were we able to hold our precious Everett.  We were able to have his footprints taken just as they do with all newborns.  Here is a photo of those darling footprints:

Oh how I cherish those footprints!

I know the Lord will reunite us with our beloved son someday.  For that I am thankful. I am thankful for the footprints of the children He has given us.  So the next time your children, or grandchildren, trample through your house with muddy feet, before the gasket blows, try and recall these few words that this wretched father wrote about his children. And smile.  Cry if you may.  But smile all the while and give thanks!  

By: Shawn Waugh

Shawn hosts the “Word For America” radio show on Grace Life Radio. 

*All Bible verses are from the English Standard Version

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