Curbing Sunday Morning Chaos! Part 2 (Wives)

Chaos 

The scene is the same each and every week.  It’s Sunday morning and time to get ready for church.  The anxiety seems to be building before anyone even hops out of bed.  All the while,  the husband is snoozing away without a care in the world.  He will not feel the gravity of the situation until he awakes and feels the tension beginning to thicken with each passing moment.  There are 1001 things that must be done before the family even gets into the vehicle to traverse towards their destination—the local church.  This is certainly not an unusual scene for many of you.  And you’re likely already thinking, “Yep, every single week!”  How is it that we should respond as husbands and wives in this weekly time of turbulence? In the Spirit or in the flesh? Hopefully the following is helpful. This post is part 2 of 2 with the first focusing on the Husbands role (can be read here).  Let’s now turn attention to how the Christian wife should respond. 

Wives, What Is Your Response?

Are you helpful? What does that mean?  Are you sensitive to what it is your husband understands on these mornings?  What are a few of the things that have caused an uproar among you and your spouse during this time? Are you sensitive that he, being a man, isn’t as observant as you?  Let’s face the facts.  Most (notice I am not saying ALL as there are a few exceptions)…Most men are clueless of their surroundings.  Paying attention to the ‘little things’ is not a characteristic of most of us men. Hence, why my first article for the men was directed in that arena. With this being the case, I encourage the wife to do something opposite of the husband.  Instead of focusing on observing, be verbal and communicate with your husband. This is imperative!  No, we do not get things that should be obvious. I know you think and have said that but it just isn’t the case.  So don’t be afraid to discuss the Sunday morning situation on Saturday night.  Again, it may seem elementary but it is necessary.  In fact, even though we men might bull up and act like talking about our roles on Sunday morning is silly, we all know deep down we need it.  

Patience is a virtue:

Ephesians 4:2-3 “with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”

We men need grace as much as any other human soul.  Yes, even as much as the obsessive compulsive three year old girl who will never take “NO” for an answer.  I know, we have one of those. Insert here a picture of my wife’s face looking at me cross-eyed when dealing with that little angel. It takes men much longer to grasp such details and it takes a wife communicating with us in these matters.

Communicating Is Not ‘Nagging’

Proverbs 21:9 “It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.”

Nagging is not the same as communicating.  Being quarrelsome and impatient is different. How do you approach your husband to talk about such issues?  Do you even discuss these things or let them fester until the pot explodes?  Are you loving in your approach?  Are your words seasoned with salt? Your demeanor can be one of a nagging nature.  Your husband is much more likely to not immediately refute you if you approach him in a loving way instead of blasting him with how lousy of a spouse and father he is by not being helpful on Sunday mornings. Husbands are not to be harsh with our wives (Colossians 3:19) and likewise our wives are not to be harsh with us. 

If you will please let me replay my message from part 1 of this 2 part article:

Nine years ago we had our first beautiful girl (we now have 3 beauties and dapper little man) and I was teaching Sunday School each and every week, BUT I had not grasped the concept of being like Christ and loving my bride as He has loved His. I was more focused on whether or not my notes were in order and I had my clothes laid out and ready to go.  What a fool I was!  The issue was not that I was teaching Sunday school or wanting to be ready, but focusing primarily on me! It didn’t take long for me to note that this was an issue for my wife–and ultimately me.  How?  My wife told me.  In both her actions and vociferation she expressed her exasperation. She likely didn’t speak up soon enough.  She waited and waited and could finally not take it any longer before communicating with me. My pride did not like it, but God’s Word hit me from the other angle (Colossians 3:19). So the moral of the story is first and foremost, wives, do not hesitate to talk to your husband. Fairly straightforward and simple, right?

Colossians 3:14 “And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.” 

How Can You Help Your Husband On The Lord’s Day Morning?

Here are just a few things that have been helpful in our “Nearly Never Normal” household on the Lord’s Day morning:

1. Communicate! Preferably before Sunday morning. This is the key issue.
2. Be patient.  Love is patient and love is kind.  Men are slower than women in these areas. We need grace. 
3. Communicate!
4. Be observant.  This was #1 for the husbands.  But certainly knowing what sort of things your husband does and does not do would be helpful when you are going through #1 of this list.  Again that was COMMUNICATING!
5. Love him. I know you would say you already do, but TELL HIM you love him! Over and and over with some affection (coupled by a smile or gentle kiss as you cross pathways to and fro in the house) reassure him of your love. And no matter how handsome you think and know he is…TELL HIM that too. It helps for us men to hear this. 
6.  Have all of the kids clothes out and ready.  That is if you trust him to get the kids ready.  As I mentioned in my first article, this is not my strong suit but I pitch in when I can.  
7. Communicate!
8. Love him! 

Ephesians 5:22 “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.”

This verse is not a “Lording over” type of verse.  It can be used in such ways when ripped from its true biblical context. But this goes back to communication.  We are each to listen to our spouses and communicate fully with them. 

If you haven’t completely tuned me out or stopped reading by this point I know you will have at least gleaned a few things that can, if applied, make your mornings so much easier.   This will result in attitudes that are much better suited to worship upon your arrival to church.  By no means is our life ‘perfect’, in fact, it is far from it, but we have grown together and closer as a family by letting Christ be our guide.  And do we have to correct ourselves and repent? You betcha! Often. This is the Christian life.  It’s the “Nearly Never Normal” life at the Waugh house. If I can quote a line from a secular country music song without being stoned, “I love this crazy tragic, sometimes almost magic, awful beautiful life.” 

Ecclesiastes 4:9-11  Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!  Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone?

Soli Deo Gloria!

By: Shawn Waugh (AKA Dr. Luke). Shawn is the host of Grace Life Radio’s ‘Word For America’ weekly Christian program.